Divorce

If your marriage has come to the point where you are seeking a divorce, your relationship has likely been strained for some time. You could be eager to put this behind you and move on with your romantic life. You’re not alone. In a 2018 survey, 34% of participants reported dating while separated (but not yet divorced). 

Before you take that dive, you should consider how a new relationship could affect your divorce and, if you have children, how it could affect the time you get with them.

You may not see a problem with dating before your divorce is finalized, as it is becoming more socially acceptable. However, legally, until the court declares your divorce as final, you are still married to your spouse, which technically means that relationships you engage in outside the marriage are technically still considered adultery.    

Before you start looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, you should look at potential problems this may cause before your divorce is final. Today, we will cover some of the ways that dating while you’re getting divorced can negatively impact your case

California Divorce Laws

California is a no-fault divorce state. A no-fault divorce means that either spouse can decide to end the marriage for any reason, and that the other spouse’s agreement is not necessary. If the other spouse chooses not to participate in the divorce, the spouse who filed for divorce can still get a default judgment, and the divorce will still go through.

How a New Relationship Affects Spousal Support

Since California is a no-fault divorce state, the courts are not concerned about why the couple is ending their marriage. The only official reasons for divorce in California are incurable insanity of a spouse or irreconcilable differences.

Although dating before your divorce is final is considered adultery, the courts do not consider that when deciding to grant the divorce. This means that spousal support is not affected due to one of the spouses already being in another relationship. 

Spending Money on a New Boyfriend or Girlfriend Could Affect How Marital Assets Are Divided

We already learned that California follows a no-fault system, so your soon-to-be ex can’t use evidence of a new relationship to get more alimony or a larger share of marital property. However, spending money on a new boyfriend or girlfriend can still have consequences.

By spending money you earned while you are still married before the division of marital assets has been completed, you are technically spending marital assets on an affair. As a result, the courts could decide that this spending is considered dissipation of marital assets, and you could have your share of the division of property reduced by how much you’ve spent, or you may have to pay the amount back to the marital estate.

Custodial Agreements Can Be Affected

Family court judges in California make custody decisions based on what is in the child’s best interest. The courts will look at the parents’ choices (good and bad) and how dedicated they are at putting their child’s needs first.

If it appears that your dating interferes with your ability to be a present and responsible parent, the courts may grant you less parenting time. They will also take a deep look into the person you are dating. If they determine that this person could pose a threat to your children, it could also hurt your chances of gaining more time with your children.

Your Ex Could Make the Divorce Harder for You

Yes, they will soon be your ex. But divorces between spouses that are on good terms with each other are typically resolved faster and are less costly than divorces where the spouses are out for revenge.

If your spouse finds out that you are dating someone, it could cause them to be hurt or angry, which could cause them to want to take that out on you through your divorce. Their emotions could lead to them being unwilling to compromise and could delay the process or cause them to do whatever they can to make the divorce more difficult for you.

Azemika & Azemika Fight For You

Even if you keep your new relationship under wraps, there is always the possibility that someone will find out, and you may end up paying the price for it. So before starting a new relationship amid a divorce, you must ask yourself if this relationship is worth pursuing right now.

The divorce attorneys at Azemika & Azemika have handled divorces in Kern County for over 22 years. We know that divorce is a challenging and emotional time that can take its toll on your mental well-being. We are here to advise you on any issue that could affect the outcome of your divorce, and we will always have your best interest in mind.

Contact us today to schedule your consultation. We will fight for you and your family during the divorce process.

Aside from losing a family member, getting a divorce is probably one of the most stressful experiences that someone could go through. 

As you proceed with the divorce, you will likely be going through a lot, and the last thing you want to worry about is the competency of your divorce lawyer. 

As you look for different candidates, here are a few traits of a great divorce lawyer that you should keep in mind.

1. Commitment

You want to hire a divorce attorney who can be with you every step of the way since this process will take a few months, or (even years for some). You will be forced to face tough decisions that will most likely impact various aspects of your life —  finances, parenting, relationships, spousal support, division of property, and even your mental and emotional health. You want to hire a divorce attorney that can commit to being there to answer all of your questions and address your concerns.

2. Experience and Knowledge

You have to select a divorce lawyer with significant years of experience in the field, particularly handling divorce and related family law matters. A lawyer who has ample experience in such cases will most likely be very knowledgeable about navigating the system and processes efficiently and adequately. 

It is also beneficial if your divorce lawyer has had a reputation and a record of getting favourable outcomes for their clients. You can ask around or review professional history to know their achievements, cases handled and successfully won. Look for a divorce lawyer who doesn’t just represent you, but represents you well.

3. Professionalism

When you go through a divorce, it is vital to have an attorney who pays attention to your needs and is always ready to provide legal advice and answer your questions regarding the legal process. More importantly, they should always put forth a professional and put-together persona. This extends to being punctual, speaking to you in a respectful manner, and maintaining complete confidentiality throughout their interactions with you.

4. Availability

Look for an attorney who has a balanced caseload — someone who knows how to manage their time. Let’s face it,  you probably won’t be the only client that they will handle, so what matters is that they can answer the phone when you call or respond to texts promptly.

It would also be best to choose a divorce lawyer who can successfully meet deadlines, arrives on time during meetings, handles files in a timely manner, and always fills out paperwork promptly. 

5. Communication Skills

Clear and easy communication with your attorney is an absolute must during the divorce process. Your lawyer should be someone you are comfortable talking to, especially with expressing your concerns and expectations. They should be able to explain clearly to you what you should know and what to expect during the process, as well as readily explain legal jargon to be aware of and how it pertains to your case. 

Communication doesn’t only mean with you, the client. Your chosen divorce lawyer should also have good communication with your spouse’s attorney, as negotiation and settlement options are often potentially on the table.

6. Confidence and Composure

A good divorce lawyer should be able to maintain their composure, stay calm and focused while going through the divorce process, and should be able to have self-control even under unexpected circumstances. 

Your lawyer will represent you and your interests, so they should be someone who won’t take things personally when something goes wrong or is faced with surprises or mishaps. 

Your divorce lawyer should remain unfazed in a room full of people and be confident and assertive in giving detailed arguments. When you have a lawyer who is confident in what they do, you can be assured that they will know how to handle pressure during situations that may arise.

Azemika & Azemika Law is on Your Side

Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional time. If you are trying to settle outside of court, make sure both party’s attorneys are aware of that. However, if there are issues that the two of you can’t agree on, you may need to get the courts involved. 

The lawyers at Azemika & Azemika have a combined total of over 56 years handling family law cases. This expertise allows our dedicated team to customize each situation to fit our clients’ specific needs. As our client, we will keep you informed on the status of your case, allowing you to make informed decisions as your case progresses.

Let the team at Azemika & Azemika help set you on a path to a better post-divorce future.  Contact us today for a consultation.

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin didn’t get a prenup — do you need one? A lot of people think that a prenup indicates a lack of trust or optimism. They believe that it’s unromantic, that it favors the wealthier partner, or that the average couple wouldn’t need one. 

Although a prenuptial agreement can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up, it can help couples build trust and ensure open communication lines. We understand that this might not be an easy task — but it is well worth it in the long run.

To help you decide whether a prenup is the right choice for you and your future family, today we will take a look at the ins and outs of the process.  

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement, also known as a prenup, refers to a legal document where a soon-to-be-married couple outlines their rights and responsibilities. The contract describes what will happen to the couple’s separate and marital property should the marriage end due to death or divorce. 

Do You Need a Prenuptial Agreement?

The decision to get a prenup is a personal one. It may be the right choice for one couple and the wrong one for another. However, we highly encourage any engaged couple to have an honest conversation about their finances before getting married.

Discussing the necessity of prenup forces a couple to evaluate their finances, identify their financial goals, and determine whether their attitudes about money are complementary. A prenup may also be a good idea under the following circumstances:

One or Both Parties Were Previously Married

A divorce judgment or decree may affect a person’s future rights and responsibilities. Moreover, people who have gone through bitter and lengthy divorces may not be willing to marry again without securing their financial future. A prenup can help ensure that they won’t go through that process again.

One or Both Parties Have Kids

A prenup can help protect the financial interests of children from a previous marriage. It can prevent conflicts over a will or inheritance, ensure that certain assets remain separate property, and create living trusts for minor children.

One Party Decides to Be a Stay-at-Home Parent

From a financial standpoint, stay-at-home parents are usually at a disadvantage. They have to forgo job opportunities or career advancement to raise their kids. With a prenup, the couple can set terms to protect the interests of the stay-at-home parent. The other party can choose to:

• Provide the stay-at-home parent with a steady and sufficient income stream
• Commit to annual IRA contributions
• Pay for a life insurance policy’s monthly premiums
• Set aside property to guarantee that the stay-at-home parent will have a comfortable lifestyle even if they decide to end the marriage 

One Party Is Significantly Wealthier Than the Other

When a person marries into money, they typically benefit from an improved lifestyle. This income disparity, in turn, can create rights for property division and spousal maintenance if the couple decides to divorce later on. A prenuptial agreement won’t just protect the assets of the wealthier party, it’ll also assure them that their partner is not marrying them for money.

One or Both Parties Wish to Protect Their Inheritance

A prenup is also an excellent tool for protecting future inheritance or generational wealth. Although inheritance is typically considered separate property, unintentional conversion can happen when, for instance, the funds are placed in a joint account. With a prenup, one party can clearly define which assets are separate property and prevent them from getting converted into marital property.

One Party Has Incurred Considerable Debt

Debts that are acquired before the marriage are paid by the person who incurred them. However, debts acquired during the marriage are typically paid for by both spouses. If one party habitually squanders money, a prenup can protect the other party from taking responsibility for the former’s debt.

One or Both Parties Own a Business

A divorce can destroy a business, especially if the business grows in value during the marriage and one party wants a share of that growth. A prenup is a good choice if one party wants to do any of the following:

• Prevent their spouse from acquiring an interest in the business
• Qualify their spouse’s interests in the business
• Provide them with absolute discretion when managing their business during and after the marriage
• Keep full ownership of the business, no matter what contributions their spouse makes during the marriage

Considering a Prenuptial Agreement? Let Us Help

Before tying the knot, you have to know what you’re signing up for. A lawyer can provide expert guidance and assistance to ensure that you and your partner are making the right choice.

Our team at Azemika Law offers competent and compassionate legal counsel for clients dealing with family law issues. We can help you create a prenup that protects your interests and is specifically tailored to meet your present and future needs. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation.

If you are a father who is in the midst of a separation or a divorce, you may be wondering if you even have a chance to gain custody of your children. Often, fathers are under the assumption that the custody of their children will automatically be granted to the mother. This is untrue.

While it is true that the courts often leaned towards awarding custody to the mother in the past, the state’s views have changed, and there is no longer a preference of women over men in granting custody.

At Azemika & Azemika, Kern County family law practice, our attorneys have a combined total of over 56 years of experience in family law. Our practice strictly handles family law cases, so you can rest assured that you’re in good hands.

How Was Child Custody Decided In the Past?

In the past, men were generally expected to be the breadwinner of the family, while women were typically expected to stay home to care for the house and the children. Due to this being the expected cultural norm, when a couple pursued a divorce, it was very common for the mother to gain custody of the children.

Custody Laws Today

Many women, whether married or single, work outside of the home, and more men have begun staying home and becoming the primary caregivers to their children. In most cases now, both the mother and the father contribute to finances as well as raising their children. 

As familial responsibilities have changed, laws have changed as well. Scientific research has suggested that children fare better when both parents are actively involved in their lives. Courts now promote participation from both parents when deciding custody.

Why Don’t More Dads Have Custody?

Looking at the divorced couples that you know, it may appear that mothers are still the primary caregiver, and statistically, they are. You may be wondering how that is possible if there is not a bias in family court. The majority of the time, the courts are not who decides who has how much parenting time.

In over half of custody cases, the parents decide that the mom should have primary custody of the children without the court’s intervention. Only a small percentage of child custody cases ever go to trial, and very few go entirely through the litigation process. This means that family courts are usually not deciding who the primary parent should be. Typically, the parents are the ones deciding that the mother should have primary custody.

It is also possible that fathers do not pursue custody because they believe they will be discriminated against in court or simply don’t want to put themselves and their children through the process. The bottom line, however, is that statistics simply do not indicate that there is a bias in the courts toward awarding custody to a female parent versus a male parent.

How to Take Advantage of Your Rights as a Father

The excellent news for fathers is that if you choose to assert your child custody rights, the laws are on your side. Shared parenting is normally what the courts lean towards unless extenuating circumstances exist. It is absolutely possible for you to be awarded equal parenting time.

If you were married to the mother of your children when the children were born, you are generally assumed to be the legal father of the children, so it will not be necessary to establish paternity first. You can petition the court for custody arrangements as part of the divorce proceedings. If the divorce has been finalized, you can ask for a modification to the custody arrangements to allow for more time with your children.

If you were not married to your child’s mother, you might have to take steps to establish paternity. Once paternity has been established, the same rules apply as above. And even if you are an unmarried father, you have equal parenting rights as the mother.

It is important to know that research suggests that children do better when their fathers are involved in their lives. If you genuinely want to be part of your child’s life, take the initiative to ask for a custody arrangement that will allow you to participate.

Need Help Asserting Your Parental Rights as a Father? 

When facing a custody battle, you need the best representation possible — a lawyer that knows the judge and court as well as one who can help you fight for your rights as a parent who wants what is best for their child. 

Azemika & Azemika Law in Bakersfield has helped families navigate divorce and child custody cases for more than 30 years, providing strong trust behind their legal guidance. 

For a family-oriented firm at an affordable cost, contact Azemika & Azemika Law today.

Divorce is a life-changing decision that can have a significant effect on your life. Even if your divorce is amicable, mistakes happen that can impact you forever, especially when there are children involved. If your divorce is not amicable, you may face complex legal and financial issues, hurt, anger, disputes, and other issues. 

The divorce process can be complicated and messy if you’re trying to do it on your own. There are forms to file, deadlines to meet, and court hearings to prepare for. You don’t want to make rash decisions, or show up with incomplete information, as this can lead to significant issues that you may or may not be able to resolve down the road.

If you’re considering divorce, you need to be aware of mistakes that can be avoided during the process. Here are five mistakes to avoid during a California divorce.

1. Rushing To Get It Over With

You may think that just getting the divorce done and over will save you time and money. But you may end up with a divorce judgment that you’ll regret later. Take your time and work out a mutually beneficial agreement. It’s critical to negotiate during the divorce process so that all parties leave the table satisfied.

Getting a divorce is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. First, you need to review the terms of the divorce and understand all the details. Once the divorce is final, there are some details you can’t ever change. If you’re not sure that you understand all the details, Talk to your attorney. Going a divorce alone simply isn’t a viable option, especially in California, where property and alimony are such crucial factors.

2. Not Identifying Separate Property

California is a community property state. This means that even though the assets you and your spouse acquired during your marriage are subject to being distributed between the two of you, assets you acquired before the marriage are not. If you don’t identify assets you had before your marriage, they may be distributed along with the rest of the property.

Note: In some circumstances, there are assets acquired during your marriage that qualify as separate property. In the same vein, there are assets owned before the marriage that become community assets. For example, retirement accounts and privately held businesses may have both separate and community property components. It’s best to speak to an attorney to determine the distribution of all assets.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

Divorce is all about negotiation. This means both partners need to manage their expectations. If there is an issue you cannot agree on, you’ll end up in court. Negotiations outside of the court allow you to reach a middle ground that works for both parties. When you’re negotiating, try to be reasonable and practical with your expectations.

Remember, getting a divorce means that you’ll have less than you did during your marriage. If you expect to take all the marital assets, have no debt, and your attorney fees covered, you have unrealistic expectations. You need to decide which issues are worth the time, energy, and expense of possible litigation to adjust your expectations and save money on your divorce by avoiding court.

4. Assume Key Issues Will Resolve Themselves

A divorce is not an event to be passive about, and issues won’t resolve themselves if you don’t discuss them. It may mean difficult conversations and uncomfortable situations with your ex, but they need to happen. You need to make informed decisions because they will affect you long-term if you unknowingly give up too much in the divorce. When you delay or ignore the necessary steps to resolve issues can make your situation even hard and more stressful.

5. Posting Sensitive Information Online

You may be tempted to post about your divorce on social media. Resist posting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences about the divorce online at all costs. If you feel you can’t, you may want to not use social media until the divorce is finalized. There are things about your divorce and life that may become public record when posted on social media. Even if you think your account is secure, a private investigator may still access the information you post.

Things you post online can be distorted and be subject to scrutiny by people who don’t need to be involved. Even things that don’t seem directly related to your divorce can have a significant impact. For example, if you purchase a new TV, this information can end up as evidence and be used as proof that you have money to pay child support or even alimony.

Protect Yourself By Hiring An Attorney

No matter how amicable you think your divorce is or will be, there are still situations that could arise and cause conflict. Negotiation, separation of property, child support, and alimony all play significant parts in any divorce. Avoid costly mistakes that could have severe impacts on the rest of your life.

At Azemika & Azemika, our law firm is exclusively devoted to the field of family law. We handle divorce cases, dissolution of domestic partnerships, child custody, visitation, child and spousal support, paternity, abandonment, and adoptions. Our partners at Azemika & Azemika will put their expertise to work for you and make sure your case is customized to your needs. Contact us today for your free case evaluation.

It’s not uncommon for spouses to be in a hurry to get through the divorce process. Depending on the separation circumstances, they may be in quite a hurry to move on with their lives. Whatever the reason, people often feel that they can’t wait to get their divorce behind them, and it’s one of the most common concerns divorce attorneys hear the most.

So how fast can someone get a divorce in California? According to California divorce laws, couples can only get divorced if they’ve lived in the state for at least six months. Bar that, the only other factors are how quickly you and your spouse can agree to the issues addressed by divorce. Here are some of the events that can speed up or (slow down) a California divorce.

Incomplete or Improperly-Filed Paperwork

Many people seeking to divorce as quickly as possible believe the first step is to file the relevant paperwork with their court. They may feel such a hurry that they do this themselves. Unfortunately, this approach often creates the first costly hurdle in expediting the process.

The first step should instead be to seek out an experienced family law attorney. A California family law attorney will make sure everything is filled out and filed correctly on your behalf. Any errors you make with the paperwork will delay the remainder of the divorce process and only serve to drag out the process and make it more costly than it already is, so save yourself the trouble and contact legal counsel early. 

Even if you do complete the initial paperwork on your own, an attorney can help you in other areas of the divorce, especially if you and your spouse aren’t on the best terms and communication breaks down (as if often does at one point or another during the process). 

You’re also required to serve notice to your spouse that you’ve filed for divorce, which you can do on the same day you file. From here, your spouse has thirty days to file a response. If they respond, and how they respond, could set a trial in motion. If they choose not to respond, a judge may make a default judgment. However, California has a mandatory six-month waiting period starting from when you serve your spouse before a judge’s decision goes into effect. That means that even a quick ruling won’t go into effect until that six-month period ends. 

Disagreements Between Spouses

When it comes time for the division of property in divorce, California follows community property standards. The law defines community property as any assets (including property and income) that either party in a marriage acquired during the marriage. With community property, the division of property in a divorce sees each side getting half the total value of all assets.

Commingling property complicates this and is often where disagreements emerge. Property is commingling if its ownership can’t immediately be defined. The property you owned before getting married remains yours, but other circumstances can complicate matters. Often, this happens when one spouse helps another make payments for something, or they agree to share something before getting married.

You and your spouse can avoid commingling property issues if you can agree on how to separate property. California courts allow for couples to draw up their own agreements to split assets. However, an inability to cooperate will lead to even more delays as the judge and lawyers try to sort it out.

The same thing can occur with child custody disputes, child support, and alimony payments. In all of these instances, couples can work with their lawyers to draw up their own agreements and have them approved by a judge. Not doing so leads to an extensive discovery process designed to give the judge the most evidence possible so that they can make an appropriate ruling. 

Maintaining communication, no matter how difficult, is essential to resolving your divorce as quickly as possible. If you find you can’t cooperate with your spouse, your lawyers can work as mediators. If you are unable to work with your spouse to reach amicable agreements for some reason, it falls on the court to do its work. Unfortunately, there’s no timeframe for how long it has to take and no guarantee that the court will do it quickly. 

Disrupting the Process or Not Cooperating

It may sound similar to the previous point, but it’s very different. Instead of focusing on how you communicate with your spouse during proceedings, we’re talking about your attitude. How you act towards anyone involved in the divorce can have consequences, including slowing the whole process down.

People know that they shouldn’t be combative during their divorce, but it’s still an emotionally trying time for everyone involved. Still, it would be best if you practiced controlling yourself. Lashing out at others or being defensive only serves to interrupt things. In particularly bad cases, being combative will cast you in a poor light and likely affect the final ruling.

You should also be concerned with how you interact with your lawyer. You’ve hired them to help you, but they may choose to stop providing their services if you don’t treat them with respect. You also need to be honest with them. With issues like child custody and property and divorce, clients sometimes hide relevant information to protect themselves or try to skew the final verdict in their favor. Doing so not only leads to a lengthier discovery process but can convince your lawyer to leave your case.

The key to getting your divorce settled is to work with the proceedings. Do what’s asked of you by the judge and your lawyer. Don’t do anything to obstruct the proceedings or could be seen as trying to derail things. If you have pressing concerns, address them to your lawyer in private.

Notes On Uncontested Divorce

A divorce trial only happens when your spouse files an objection after you initially serve them. If they agree to the divorce, you can avoid a trial entirely. Remember that you still need to wait through the six-month grace period before it’s official, but if you want a fast divorce, an uncontested divorce is ideal.

If you and your spouse agree to divorce before you file, you and your lawyers can also work out agreements beforehand to make the process even faster. Your lawyer can help finalize arrangements before presenting them to a judge. If accepted, there won’t be a trial.

Azemika Law Can Help You

If you need help understanding the complexities of California divorce laws or would like an experienced attorney to help you work through divorce as efficiently as possible, call on our attorneys at Azemika & Azemika. 
We are experts in Kern County family law who bring compassion and honesty to everything that we do. We’ll treat you and your family with respect and confidentiality as we help you achieve the best outcome possible. Contact us today to learn more about our expertise and what we can do to help you.

What is the most stressful part of a divorce? The response changes from case to case, but for parents the answer will undoubtedly be child custody. 

Fear of hurting their relationship with their children, having their parenting scrutinized by a judge and fear of losing their child to the other parent entirely are but a few factors that make divorce proceedings so difficult for parents.

If you are soon going through a divorce (or currently are), you can save yourself, your child, and your spouse a lot of distress by working out a child custody and visitation agreement right away. Here are some considerations when working out such an arrangement.

Best Interest of the Child

At the heart of every custody dispute is one matter: what is in the child’s best interest. It’s common that divorcing spouses allow bitter feelings to make every issue about themselves. When it comes to your child, a judge will make a decision based on the child’s needs, not yours.

Unless there is evidence of abuse, neglect, or irresponsibility, a child will get to spend time with both parents. How that gets divided will vary based on multiple factors, but if you and your ex-spouse work with divorce attorneys to create a custody plan, it increases the odds that you’ll both get the time and custodial responsibilities you want.

Physical Custody vs. Legal Custody

A big point of confusion in child custody law is the concepts of physical and legal custody. Some see one as being more significant, while others may not understand the difference at all. Knowing how they differ is essential to your post-divorce co-parenting plan.  

Physical custody refers to who has custody of the child when. For example, if you have custody during alternating weeks, you would have physical custody during those weeks and your ex-spouse on the other weeks. Legal custody determines who makes major decisions regarding the child’s well-being, such as a physician or religious upbringing. 

The benefit of collaborating with your ex-spouse on a child custody agreement is that you propose ways to divide both responsibilities however you want. Of course, you should still be realistic and consider your ability to meet the proposed obligations.

Consider Your Child’s Responsibilities

While each parent’s commitments will carry a lot of weight in joint custody discussions, it would be foolish to overlook those of the child. When parents separate, it’s a very confusing time for children. They have to navigate a new set of norms that sometimes calls their sense of security into question.

Keeping a child’s social life intact can provide them additional support during this difficult time. Playdates, after-school activities, and visits with extended family all help maintain a sense of regularity. Don’t disregard them as part of your joint custody planning. If your custody arrangement would eliminate any of these things from your child’s life, reconsider and accommodate for it the best you can. 

Simplify Living Arrangements

The most common custody agreements see a child living between two locations to spend time with each parent. Depending on where the parents live, such arrangements could require a lot of travel for both parents and the child. If the custodial exchange is frequent, it could make it difficult for the child to get comfortable with the arrangement and new surroundings. 

Recent years have seen growing popularity for a new joint custody trend called “bird nesting” or just “nesting.” Nesting doesn’t see the child moving between homes to live with the custodial parents in its simplest form. Instead, a primary residence will be shared by the parents so that the child doesn’t travel. 

Let’s go back to the alternating weekly agreement again, and let’s say that your child lives at your residence. When it’s time for your ex to take custody, they will come to live in your home, and you would spend the week (barring visitation) elsewhere. It could be your ex’s home, other property you own, or joint property you both own.

Nesting requires a great deal of trust between both spouses, but it’s beneficial in that it removes the stress of having to travel from your child and gives them a sense of normalcy. It minimizes the disruptions they’ll experience while keeping both parents in the picture. 

It would be best if you didn’t view nesting as a long-term practice. The main intention is to make adjusting to divorce easier for children. Eventually, they’ll reach a place where they can handle living between two homes and travel. 

A joint custody proposal centered around nesting faces unique challenges, so it’s best to discuss potential difficulties and pitfalls with your divorce attorney.

Be Flexible With Your Plan

We all know events in our lives can run counter to even the most detailed plans, but understanding this doesn’t make it easier to pivot when changes are needed. Most people entering their first divorce know what they want but don’t know what to expect. When reality crashes into those expectations, things can get messy.

Your divorce attorney will tell you to temper your expectations and be flexible, but this should extend to your joint custody agreement as well. Temporary or permanent changes may be necessary as time goes on to keep both parents in the picture. Things like career changes, job promotions, new spouses, and moving are just a few examples of significant events that can affect custody arrangement.

Being open to potential changes is only half the equation. The key to ensuring you can implement changes as needed is maintaining a civil relationship with your ex and regularly communicating with them.

Not all circumstances lend themselves to a friendly divorce, but co-parenting is a collaborative effort that requires give and take. The ability to set aside differences with your ex and look past the personal problems between you is paramount to getting your joint custody plan approved. 

Involve Your Child

Remember: the most significant changes resulting from a divorce are happening to your child. Since it impacts them, it can help them understand and cope with what’s happening if they’re involved in the process. 

Of course, what this means isn’t the same for every child. It’s not unreasonable, for example, to let a teen or pre-teen have a say in mother and father visitation. However, a toddler wouldn’t have enough awareness of what’s happening to make similar decisions. Still, they may want to choose seemingly inconsequential things, like what toys they keep at a specific parent’s home. In both examples, the child has some control over what’s happening, making them more accepting of the change.

Let’s Talk

Child custody and visitation arrangements are always developed to serve the child’s best interests. During any divorce proceedings, it’s important to discuss a potential parenting plan. If this is not possible, be honest with the court and any third-party evaluators. Doing so will help the judge order an arrangement that works best for the child. 

For comprehensive representation in any child custody and child support matter, call Azemika & Azemika Law. We will fight for and protect you and your family during the separation and divorce process. Contact us today online or by phone 661-322-8166 to arrange an initial consultation with our attorneys.

The traditional divorce process can be incredibly stressful. Lengthy litigation, court costs, examination, and hostile feelings between spouses can affect all involved mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

No matter how much you prepare for the process, its nature can quickly become very tiring. However, there are options available to avoid taking your separation to court. One such option is called collaborative divorce.

When spouses choose to pursue a collaborative divorce, they work out a settlement with family law attorneys while avoiding litigation. By making this agreement, they can work out every aspect of the divorce, such as division of property, alimony, and child support on their terms rather than have to make a case in court and have the result ultimately determined by a judge. 

This allows for greater flexibility and, more importantly, avoids the additional negativity a divorce trial can bring. If you’re considering a collaborative divorce, here are some essential facts you need to know.  

The Role of Attorneys

When both spouses agree to a collaborative divorce, they also agree not to pursue litigation against each other. That being the case, what role do attorneys play in the process?

Family law attorneys will help you in multiple ways. Though they aren’t making a legal argument on your behalf during a collaborative divorce, they can use their skills to work as your advocate while you and your spouse work on their settlement. 

Both parties hire separate lawyers who help negotiate and iron out the agreement’s fine details so that there are no ambiguities. Unlike with mediators, spouses cannot share an attorney during this process.

However, you may find you’ll need additional help at various points. For example, when discussing how to separate property, it may be necessary to determine something’s monetary value. For this, you’d need an expert to give an accurate estimate. Family law attorneys have these connections in place and can bring additional resources into the discussions as necessary, saving you the trouble of having to seek them out on your own.

You Have Ultimate Flexibility

When a divorce goes to trial, the final terms have to follow state law. For example, when it comes to the division of property in divorce, California state law equally divides jointly-owned property between spouses. 

The property you owned before the marriage remains yours, but anything that becomes shared may have its ownership questioned. Such items become commingling property, and if you can’t prove original ownership, it becomes a judge’s decision.

Collaborative divorce lets spouses customize the terms however they agree to, giving you greater flexibility regarding complicated issues like commingling property. It also removes uncertainty from the equation. The judge’s decision may go against what you hoped for or strike you as unfair. That’s not an issue with collaborative divorce.

While you may negotiate outside customary divorce laws, the goal should be to make both spouses satisfied with the final plan. It isn’t an opportunity to take everything you want. Doing so will stall (and potentially tank) the negotiations altogether. Be reasonable and expect some give and take.

You Don’t Have To Involve The Child

Divorcing parents have the additional complication of their child’s welfare to focus on. When a divorce goes to court, child custody disputes can be the most painful to litigate. 

Doing so involves scrutinizing the parents, which may include questioning the child to learn more about how they feel and how their parents act. It can humiliate the parents and be scary for the child, and the ultimate custody decision could cause pain for anyone involved.

Thankfully, collaborative divorce allows you to establish all the terms of your separation, including child custody. With the help of their attorneys, spouses can shape a plan without involving their children at all. Of course, they can choose to involve them if they want, but it takes some of the stress of a divorce that children experience in either scenario. 

Judges make child custody decisions based on what they believe to be in the child’s best interest. This can include any number of factors, including the employment and earnings of each parent, criminal history, and where they live. 

When you and your spouse discuss child custody, the focus should still be on what’s best for your child. However, you can use whatever reasoning you like to make your conclusion and without having your life examined by a judge. 

What If We Can’t Agree?

At the start of a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse sign a contract stating you won’t pursue litigation to resolve the divorce and instead work things out amongst yourself. 

However, it may turn out that you hit roadblocks along the way, issues that no one is willing to concede. It can happen anywhere in the process, and if it does, that initial contract becomes void as you both take the matter to court.

When this happens, your current attorneys will have to remove themselves from the case, though they may help you find other representation for your divorce trial. Keep in mind that everything they worked on up to that point will be kept confidential. 

Depending on how far along in the collaborative divorce process you were before changing to traditional divorce proceedings, you may have signed agreements relating to specific issues already, like how to divide the property. If you have, those agreements may still be binding and won’t be decided by a judge, helping to speed up the process. 

Ultimately, if you and your spouse try and fail to finalize a collaborative divorce, the work you’ve done will still affect the final determinations.

A Better Way To Resolve Your Disputes

A divorce may be final, but what you experience during the process will remain with you for some time. One of the greatest boons of collaborative divorce is that it helps everyone stay civil as they prepare to separate. 

The hard feelings that litigation can bring up have a better chance of never coming to fruition and influencing your words or actions. Besides keeping things peaceful, it may very well help the healing once your divorce is over.

Talk to Our Attorneys Today

If you need help understanding the complexities of California divorce laws or would like an experienced attorney to help you with your collaborative divorce, call on our professionals at Azemika & Azemika. 

We are experts in Kern County family law who bring compassion and honesty to everything that we do. We’ll treat you and your family with respect and confidentiality as we help you achieve the best outcome possible. Contact us today to learn more about our expertise and what we can do to help you.