When you get engaged, you’re not expecting or hoping that your marriage will end in divorce. You’re expecting happily ever after. But in reality, you know that some marriages do end in divorce.
There is a stigma attached to the idea of getting a prenuptial agreement (also known as a prenup). Many people see it as their partner not being “all in” on the relationship or that they are expecting the marriage to fail before it even begins. This can make it difficult to talk to your partner about it if you decide that a prenup is what you want.
At Azemika & Azemika, we have helped people navigate legal issues pertaining to family law in Kern County for over 28 years. Our practice focuses solely on family law, so you can be assured that we have the knowledge and experience needed to help you work through the process of any family law issue you are facing.
Prenuptial agreements are a commonplace and wise way to ensure that in the event of a divorce, you and your partner’s assets are protected. Today, we’re going to take a look at the prenup discussion and address how best to approach the conversation with your partner.
Start the Prenup Conversation Early.
The sooner you bring up the conversation, the less pressure you will feel. Addressing the conversation shortly after your engagement can make your partner feel more relaxed and more willing to communicate with you.
Even better, if you address your desire for a prenup while you are still dating, you can use your partner’s reaction to decide how to handle the subject later in your relationship. Not only that, they will know your thoughts on the matter early enough to process the idea of a prenup. It is recommended that you have the conversation before your engagement if possible, so that it becomes less of a conversation of the trust between you and your partner as you become increasingly committed, and instead more of a conversation on the concept and benefits of the agreement.
Make Sure to Emphasize That There Are Benefits to Both of You.
If you point out the fact that a prenup can significantly benefit both of you, your partner may feel less intimidated by the idea.
Prenups can provide emotional and financial stability if your marriage ends in divorce. Since everything has already been planned, there is less fighting, less tension, and it allows both of you to move on with your lives with all the variables already considered.
Discuss and Decide the Terms Together.
If you go into the conversation with an agreement in hand, most likely, your partner will immediately become defensive. If your attorney has drawn up the contract, it will most likely have been drafted in your favor.
Instead, look into hiring a mediator to write the prenup with your partner so that you both have input, and it will allow the two of you to discuss what expectations you each have for your marriage.
Be Upfront With What You Want.
If you want to draft a prenup without causing resentment from either party, you have to trust and communicate with each other openly.
If you want something in the agreement, being open and honest with your partner will help them understand what is important to you. When you suggest a term of the agreement, especially one that you think will trigger your partner, make sure you take the time to help them understand why you want it. The more they understand your “why,” the better the conversation will go.
Listen to Your Partner.
There will be terms of the agreement on which you will both agree. But your partner will likely have some concerns that are different or even the complete opposite of yours. When this happens, be sure to listen to them with an open mind, and be sensitive to their needs and concerns.
Every disagreement that comes up allows the two of you to improve your relationship and understand each other better. This whole process isn’t to “win” or “be right.” It is a chance to strengthen your relationship and build a steady partnership for the union to come.
Make Sure You Leave Room for Change Through the Years.
A prenup should cover more than just what you have at the time of drafting the document. It should also consider things that haven’t happened yet.
Right now, you may not have much, but in the future, that could change. When the document is drafted, you could be running your own business while your partner has their own career. In the future, your partner may play a significant role in your business, or perhaps you or your partner steps back from their career to stay home and raise your children.
The possibility of all of this should be taken into account when drafting the prenup as well.
Need Help Talking About a Prenup With Your Partner? Call Azemika & Azemika.
A prenuptial agreement can help relieve undue stress during a difficult time in your life. Knowing that your assets are protected and that the solution has been laid out can help you move into your marriage with peace of mind.
Let the attorneys at Azemika & Azemika help you manage the process of drafting a fair agreement that will benefit you and your future spouse.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation.